Dear younger me,
First of all – you are not ugly. People are not lying to you when they tell you that you are beautiful. Every single day you wake up with an invisible weight on your shoulders because you have allowed yourself to believe lies that have been spoken over you. You don’t know this yet but you are not defined by what man says you are. Your worth is not defined by the boy that doesn’t like you back. Your worth is not defined by the friends that talk about you behind your back or the people that use you.
You are defined by God’s unfailing faithful love for you and your status as the child of a King.
You will have awkward moments and you will end up with so many embarrassing stories that you won’t be able to remember them all. But contrary to what you believe, God is not out to get you. Really He loves you more than you will ever understand.
He doesn’t say no to you to punish you. Someday you will thank Him for every single time He told you no and redirected you to something else. Because in saying no to you, He was really keeping you on the right path toward your destiny.
I know you’re in pain right now. You don’t understand why certain events in your life have taken place. But years from now, down the road, you will look in the mirror and be incredibly proud of the kind, mature, self-assured and brave young woman those experiences have caused you to become.
You may have flaws and a tendency to be immature at times. But don’t let the voice of Satan trick you into thinking that you are nothing but your flaws.
You are human and you are young. You are not called or expected to be perfect. Life is about growth not stagnant perfection. Stop torturing yourself.
Be proud that you are black. Be proud that a part of your DNA is linked to a country that is historically known as the first independent nation in the Caribbean AND Latin America.
No your hair is not naturally straight. Your hair is kinky and coily and someday you will love it tremendously for exactly what it is. You are not obligated to conform to what society says is beautiful. Please ignore anyone that tells you otherwise.
You will do things you never thought you could. You will walk boldly in the direction of your dreams. You will watch God open doors for you. You will be faced with opportunities that are intimidatingly big.
One day you will put down the hateful words that you use to describe yourself. You will throw away the self-inflicting mental weapons that the enemy has caused you to embrace.
One day you will love yourself enough to be perfectly content with your own presence. You will know how to reject hatred that is disguised as love. You will understand that you have every right to functional, stable love.
You will be protective and proud of yourself.
One day you will love yourself enough to decide that it’s time to tell the little girl inside of you how much she matters. You will love yourself enough to speak peace into the scars that the world wants you to feel ashamed of.
One day you will love yourself enough to know that you are worth loving.